Friendship & The Chisel Effect

Facebook Comments

Good morning world…

No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.
― Gautama Buddha, Sayings Of Buddha

We all have our own path, our own journey where we meet lots of souls, thank each and everyone as without them life would be incomplete!

Do read ” Friendship and the Chisel Effect ” and share your comments and feedback. I always look forward to hearing from all of you!

Mom in the hospital on a bright sunny Sunday afternoon, in her harrowing labor, dad hustling, sweating bullets wondering now what, boy or a girl? Well, it’s me who pops out, the chunkiest baby among four siblings with the most adorable smile, obviously, I do not remember, but that’s what I have been told by my family. Happiest of all the uncles and aunts congratulated my family and were undoubtedly my first friends growing up. Well, nothing ingrained in my memory, but all I know is that they all were mom dad’s socially lit friends.

What did I internalize– No choice but to love what is offered sometimes as that’s the best and the only option we have. After all, I had to laugh and cry in mom’s dad’s friend’s lap, no prerogative, you see!

Transitioned to a naive and bubbly toddler, frantic one minute and cuddling the very next moment. Pure unconditional love, no strings attached whatsoever, and occasionally selfish with the “this is my attitude.” Here comes preschool, kindergarten, and elementary/middle school with all the learning curve attached to it. Interact with all with combined activities and full-on participation to the core. Well, who remembers saying, girls eww! boys eww! Forming the boys and girls club with exclusive rights and also having being excluded with those big chunky tears rolling down the cheeks. I have no friends, mom, I hate school, aah those comments! The social arena was so touchy and sometimes troubled, oh, that agitated and insecure feeling can still be very shaky indeed. Well, I believe we all have experienced this in our growing up years!

What did I internalize– Learn how to blend, be part of different settings, hogwash happens, it’s okay, adapt, resolve conflicts, develop leadership skills, and appreciate each other.

Cool, now comes the best part, in my opinion, high school, where we all tried to be like adults. We thought we knew it all, where our parents were our worst enemies. Banging of doors, you are so mean comments, silent secretive chats with friends, peeking at that cute guy sitting on the last bench from the corner of the eye, heart beating at supersonic speed, of course, infatuation, jealousy and competing with our friends. The drama never ended; however, the teenage tantrums were on a roll coupled with everlasting impressions. Made the best of friends, grew up together, stood by each other in all heartbreaks, fully aware of each other’s strengths and weaknesses, no judgment, and remember those inside jokes never to be leaked out.

What did I internalize– Old is gold, no matter what. Come what, never forget where we come from in life, every scene of that chapter will resonate some suppressed emotion that we should latch on to till eternity.

Cool, now comes the best part, in my opinion, high school, where we all tried to be like adults. We thought we knew it all, where our parents were our worst enemies. Banging of doors, you are so mean comments, silent secretive chats with friends, peeking at that cute guy sitting on the last bench from the corner of the eye, heart beating at supersonic speed, of course, infatuation, jealousy and competing with our friends. The drama never ended; however, the teenage tantrums were on a roll coupled with everlasting impressions. Made the best of friends, grew up together, stood by each other in all heartbreaks, fully aware of each other’s strengths and weaknesses, no judgment, and remember those inside jokes never to be leaked out.

What did I internalize– Old is gold, no matter what. Come what, never forget where we come from in life, every scene of that chapter will resonate some suppressed emotion that we should latch on to till eternity.

Off to medical school, teenager to an adult, with tons of dreams, being ragged together to the most hideous stuff, sitting in the cafe having coffee, blurting out the most intimate secrets, heartaches, cramming anatomy notes, taking leadership seminars, singing at the college festival, bunking the most boring class with the most annoying professor and all the way to spending weekends together. I will always cherish my dearest girlfriend of thirty years with who I spent my college years with, but one small misunderstanding, one discombobulated thought, created a gap of ten years. I was muddled up, not a single day went by when I did not think about her and how much we both had shared in the prime of our youth. As they say, if you care for someone, baloney stuff happens, suck it up, flush the ego, dial that break it or make it call, have that agonizing chat and darn it, fix it! Yes, we glued it back, can never forget that one email that connected us back together and solidified our bond again.

What did I internalize– You live only once if the foundation is substantial and rock-like, roots are tied up stable the universe will make sure to manifest what one desires from the core of the heart.

Married, welcome the new life, migrated to a different country miles away from home, new family, newfangled surroundings, unfamiliar faces, and to top, it left all friends back far away across the oceans. No social media to connect, only seldom phone calls to catch up, however, with the time that also faded away. I needed friends, period! Uncles, aunt’s, and seniors were my first set of friends, and let me tell you I absolutely cherish all the time spent with them and still do so. Life lessons, their heart touching experiences, and soul to soul connect conversations have left a mighty mark on my heart. Still, I wanted more, was on a hunt to have someone my age with who I could let my hair down with similar thoughts, likes, dislikes, and just let loose. Eventually happened, found some incredible girls and families, and it was a perfect lock and key combination. Life long memories created with a bag full of pain, tears, laughter, and immense joy. However, some were for keeps and some just simple bystanders who walked away as hastily as they entered. My self-confidence plummeted, a nose-dive in one of my friendships made me cognizant of the reality that nothing is permanent in life, all is mutable and can go through a significant shift. I was not my perky self, however, the ones who truly understood my psyche, my mental make up guided me and helped me get through that rocky moment in my life. Finally, I realized the only affirmation and validation that I needed is only from me, nothing else mattered. Chop chop, keep- keep is the motto I finally figured.

What did I internalize– This has been by far the most nourishing and invigorating stage of my life that has drilled my inner sanctum to the deepest level and churned my emotions like a whirlpool. You may want to understand that we absorb energy from everyone, literally from anyone around us, no matter what age. Everyone may not be a friend, but we need to be thankful to them as they teach us that life is not fair sometimes, to be objective, be unassuming, forgive oneself, forgive others, basically handle the rules of the game tactfully. We do not own anything, and a healthy relationship does not bind, nor crunch instead allows free rein with mutual respect and no room for misinterpretations.

Entering the new milestone and have tons of unanswered questions as to what life will bring now. Who will enter and who will exit the doors? In the end, what really matters is who stays despite the polarity and contrarieties between two individuals. Choose to be your own best friend, and you will never be in anguish or distress. Just be real, yes, no veils on, no cloaks, no visors just the transparent you, and the untainted soul will be standing right basically next to you!

After all, friendships are like a chisel, they carve us from all corners, fill in the gaps, soften us, and allows the marred beauty in us to shimmer to its optimum level!

The good, the bad, and the ugly are all the perks that get coupled with friends, take it or leave it, finally, it’s our choice!

NaMāste
Love, peace & blessings!

14 Comments

  1. Alka

    Lovely piece as always

    Reply
  2. Geetika

    Another very relevant and beautifully written piece Mona 💕

    Reply
  3. Ranjana

    So beautifully written!! I could relate to all the phases of my life from the past😊 precious pearls of wisdom gathered thru our journey of life!! Great going Monika

    Reply
  4. Tanu

    So very true MOna💕
    Delete or hide this

    Reply
  5. Rupali

    Beautifully written Mona and so true to the core. Awesome 😍💞

    Reply
  6. Aarti Makhijani

    Love ittt!!!! Beautifully expressed each stage of life .. yes can definitely relate to all In some way or other 👏👏👌👌👌

    Reply
  7. Dr. Ahuja

    I believe strongly that “Your life is in your hands”. Let us live it before it slips out.

    Reply
  8. Sameera

    Great read and so true!

    Reply
  9. Kirti

    Wow, excellent job, very well written!

    Reply
  10. vandana YADAV

    one of your best pieces. amazing and so beautifully expressed ina few of all phases of your life!

    Reply
  11. Shibani

    loved it. you have a great way with words and emotions and expressing them!

    Reply
  12. Monika Kodnani

    Read your post, great insights as always!

    Reply
  13. misha

    very nice words, your words flow so naturally!

    Reply
  14. ARchana bhandari

    amazing Mona, loved reading it!

    Reply

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

Facebook Comments

Symphony of the Soul:

20 Printables

Please click on the link for your free downloadable free printables.

Thank you for reading and subscribing. Love, peace, and blessings! ~ Monika