Coffee & Scribbles~My Way Back to Me!
The hardest lesson for me has been learning to let go, and truly, it wasn’t easy. There was so much I was carrying, old weight, baggage without any meaning.
It was ingrained into my cells, my bones, plastered all over. So much self-pity, which was dooming me.
Every few months, I would tell myself, “This is it, I’ve let go,” and then, somehow, it would return. Boomerang effect. And I would find myself holding on all over again. Total mess, a cycle I didn’t fully understand.
But then, something came subtly, through “my own words.” The ones I wrote to myself. On tissue papers, notepads, journals, sticky notes, restaurant napkins, you name it.
Coffee and words became my saviors, holding me when nothing else could.
2019 felt heavy, 2020–2021 even more so, but somewhere in those pages, I dissolved, and something started to move.
My words and I created a motherly connection. They questioned me, held me, hugged me, and sometimes even felt stern, but they lingered. My confidantes, my best friends.
And slowly, very slowly, they showed me that life was not as complicated as we made it out to be. That somewhere, in the middle of everything, there was still beauty. We just had to allow ourselves to see it.
I began turning inward; my inner nucleus, that core, was what needed attention. It was asking for help.
Turning point; Not overnight, not perfect, but something allowed me to breathe.
I tried many things, listening, learning, seeking, but what stayed with me was this: how I spoke to myself.
MY WORDS.
How I chose to see myself. How I faced myself and looked eye to eye.
I’m still learning. It was not easy. It was tough. Daunting.
But if there is one thing I would say, it’s this: JUST WRITE.
Your WORDS will surprise you in ways nothing else can.
They will hold you, challenge you, and walk you back to yourself.
Sometimes, all you need to do is empty your vessel and keep refilling it, again and again.
Give yourself the permission to be incomplete.
You will not go wrong, only right.
TRUST ME!
~with heart,
monika
